Member-only story
I am not a likeable guy.
I mean. I have no friends so it isn’t brain surgery to figure it out.
I never wanted to be an unlikable person.
In fact, it may have been my greatest fear.
Maybe that is why I was always so shy as a kid.
I just didn’t want to say something that had already been said, and turn out to be boring. Say something that was wrong, and turn out to be dumb. Or say something that was smart, and turn out to be wrong.
Instead, out of fear, I said nothing at all and turned out to be uncharismatic, I guess.
I don’t want the same for my son. I want him to feel free to say anything and know that I love him and for him to feel original — cool.
There has to be tons of people who have turned to drugs or alcohol in an attempt to find a scapegoat for their own voids of personality.
I mean, it’s fine if you don’t like me if I can later blame it on the alcohol. Then, at least, I don’t have to admit that I was boring, or wrong… or dumb.
It was the alcohol.